


Second Best

by pepperbella129



Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Actor Tom Hiddleston, Body Image, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Humor, London, Love, Male-Female Friendship, Misunderstandings, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 01:29:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6100377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperbella129/pseuds/pepperbella129
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When normal, average Lily Forrester gets the chance to live in London for a year, she jumps at it. Lily has always played second string to her best friend, beautiful ballerina Max, and is looking for something more. After befriending Benedict Cumberbatch and getting the chance to work with him, will Lily realize she's more than second best?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> Over 600 hits in six days is awesome, you guys!!! I live for comments and kudos, thanks so much for reading.

I always flew below the radar. Just my boring, average self, maybe a few pounds overweight, maybe a few hours short of a full night's sleep, simply there. It's hard when all your friends are gorgeous, and you're just normal. When I met Max, back in the seventh grade, we bonded over a shared love of boy bands and cookie dough, and have been best friends ever since. Now, both single, sharing an apartment and almost thirty, I'm starting to wonder if I need uglier friends, or if the problem is something much deeper.

Max is a dancer, and a great one. She has incredible talent, and has been a member of the elite Groskyn Dance Troupe since she was nineteen. I also work for Madam Groskyn, as a publicist and event coordinator. We ride the subway to work together each day, and I try to ignore the ogling Max gets whenever she leaves the house.

"Well, my lovelies, we have a huge announcement today..." Madam Groskyn claps her hands and pauses, causing me to look at Max and raise an eyebrow. "GDT has been offered an incredible new opportunity, to pair with an acting troupe and perform a never before seen combination of the arts of acting and dancing. We will all be relocating to London in the next month, and rehearsals will begin on September 1st. Max will be our premier soloist, and Jason will accompany her. If you have any issues or questions, coordinate with Lily."

Suddenly, almost half the troupe is crowding me, wanting to know about housing, flights, and everything else travel related. When did I become a glorified travel agent? All these tiny, perfect ballerinas swarming around me, asking questions about vegetarian in-flight meals and Pilates studios, make me want to scream. Max catches my eye, and holds up her phone. "Five minutes..." she mouths as she walks out of the rehearsal space, Jason trailing behind her like a lost puppy. Sure enough, my phone starts buzzing, and I push through the skinny squad, knowing they'll all be at my office door shortly anyway.

You find Max in your office, her ridiculously long legs draped across the arm of your "guest" chair.

"So, London, huh? I bet you're pumped." She smiles, knowing your obsession with BBC, English actors, and British history makes London one of your dream vacations. "Yeah, but it won't be fun for me," I sigh, "I'll be too busy keeping the skinny squad from eating anything and jumping through all Madman Groskyn's hoops to even see Big Ben." "You never know..." Max gives you that smirky half smile that makes men follow her to the ends of the earth, "...maybe the man of your dreams will sweep you away from all us skinny bitches."

The Madman herself suddenly appears in your doorway. "I am not paying you to socialize, Lily. My prima ballerina should be rehearsing, not lounging in your office flapping her gums and listening to you complain." Max immediately rises from her seat, heading to the door before I can respond. "Thanks for the travel details, Lil...see you at home."

Groskyn comes in, seating herself primly on the chair Max just vacated, and stares me in the eyes as she begins her "responsibilities" speech again. I lean back, knowing there's no way to get away from her, and when I can tell she's winding down, nod and ask her some vague questions to make sure she believes you were actually listening. She smiles. "Good to know you're taking this seriously, Lily. I'll forward you Ben's contact information so you can coordinate with him. I expect you, Max, and Jason in London by August 1st." With that, she sweeps out of the room, leaving you confused. What did you just agree to? Who's Ben? August 1st?!? That's in a week! I go get a cup of coffee, sit down at my desk, and start making a packing list. Max loves to mock your lists, but I've never gone anywhere unprepared, and I'm definitely not going to start now. My laptop chimes, a signal set up to insure that when the Madman emails, you know right away. I open it up, and see a few lines of text:

Ben (Actor Liaison)

bciam@inbox.com

1-555-864-2743

"Remember Lily, it is imperative that the dancers and actors are on the same page at all times, I trust you will make sure everything runs smoothly on our end. –M.L.G.

Okay great, so now on top of being a travel agent, I'm expected to do all the work to make these two troupes get along, with some guy named Ben. I decide to get right down to business, assuming from his email that is last name is Ciam.

Mr. Ciam,

My name is Lily Forrester. I am the coordinator for the Madam Groskyn Dance Troupe, and as we will be working together closely in the upcoming months, I wanted to introduce myself and explain a little of our usual routine for your actors.

After attaching a copy of the troupe's usual rehearsal schedule, as well as a press packet with names and headshots for all the dancers, I end the email with my name, return email, and phone number, and then hit send.

Twenty minutes later, after booking yourself, Max, and Jason on a flight for July 30th to Heathrow, I check my email again.

Ms. Forrester,

Let's drop the formalities, shall we? We shall be working together closely, after all. I'm Ben. I'm not sure who Mr. Ciam is, maybe you can explain that to me, but I will be the coordinator between your dancers and the actors of the production, as I am the male lead and have been nominated to do so. I would like to speak with you over the phone, as we have many things to discuss, so please notify me when it is convenient for you. –BC

I quickly calculate the time difference, it is 1pm here, which makes it around 6pm in London. I pick up the phone, and dial Ben. After four rings, a deep, rich, velvety voice answers.

"Hello?"

"Yes, I'm trying to reach Ben. This is Lily. Lily Forrester. From Madam Groskyn Dance Troupe. He told me to call? In an email?" What? Why am I explaining so much? Something about this man's chocolately delicious voice has caused me to temporarily lose my brain. And my breath. Good God!

"Oh, Lily, yes, this is Ben. I didn't expect to hear from you so quickly. Before we get down to business, can you please explain who Mr. Ciam is? I fear we have had some sort of miscommunication, and I'd like to rectify that first."

"Sure, Ben I merely received your email address from Madam Groskyn and knowing that your first name is Ben, I assumed Ciam was your last, like in my email, lforrester@groskyndance I apologize for the mix up I am also fine with being on a first name basis, but for business sake, can I please have your actual name to add into my London contact sheet?" God, again! That came out in one big sentence, he's definitely going to think I'm nuts. Why do I care if Mr. Sexy Voice thinks I'm crazy? He's probably some seventy year old, washed up actor hoping to get some attention by trying this project anyway. Geez, Lily, calm yourself!

"Ah haha!" He laughs into the phone. "I understand the confusion now, Lily. My name's not Ben Ciam, darling, it's Ben Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch, actually, but I prefer Ben with my friends. The email address is Ben C. I Am...get it?"

Not breathing. Definitely not breathing. Ben Cumberbatch? Benedict Freaking Cumberbatch?!? Sherlock, Khan, Smaug, Assange, that Benedict Cumberbatch? I think I'm dying. Oh well, I can die in peace, hearing that polished, silky voice say my name. Oh wait, he's saying it again.

"Lily? Lily? Ms. Forrester? Are you alright, love? Did we lose our connection? Lily???"

I can hear the concern in his voice, it's quite sweet, actually. I take a deep breath, hands shaking, and reply so he doesn't think I died of fangirling or something like that. "Yes, Ben, I'm here. I apologize, I was slightly shocked when you identified yourself because I did not realize we would be working with actors of your high caliber while in London." That sounded normal, right? Professional? I'm an idiot.

"Oh, Lily, I am sorry. I didn't mean to shock or startle you in any way. Perhaps we should start over. I'm Benedict Cumberbatch, the actor liaison for this production. It's nice to meet you, Lily Forrester. I'd like to discuss quite a few things with you, but unfortunately I am on my way to set for a night shoot and can't talk long today. Perhaps I could call you when shooting is finished, around 10pm your time?"

"Sure, Benedict, I mean Ben-" I say, secretly surprised that he still wants to talk to me after my freak out, "I will be available all evening, feel free to call when it is best for you."

"Friday night, and a woman with a voice like yours doesn't have plans? I've always thought American men were wankers, now I'm sure of it. I'll be your plans, darling. Talk to you soon. Goodbye."

I am up and out my office door before he even gets off the phone completely, racing down two flights of stairs to Max's private rehearsal space so that I can actually freak out now. He thinks MY voice is good?!?! Has he heard himself? I can't wait to find her - I've made her watch Star Trek: Into Darkness with me several times, and pointed out Ben (BEN!!!) and his yumminess, so she will not need much updating.

"Max! Max! Max!" I throw myself headfirst through the doorway, not noticing that her toe shoes and bag are outside the door. I look around the small, empty space in confusion, and then hear her coming back down the stairs, laughing and flirting with Jason. I know what that means, and I make myself as scarce as possible. Max and Jason are back on. Again.

I head home for the night, stopping at the store to grab the stuff I need for an easy shrimp stir fry. I figure I'll start packing tonight, seeing as we are now leaving in six days for London, and I have a one year visa. London, for a year. I can't believe it. I want to see the London Eye, and Big Ben, and Buckingham Palace. I want to go to Cardiff, for the Doctor Who Experience, and to Stratford-Upon-Avon, to see the Shakespeare Houses. Most of all, I want to live London, to breathe it. I may never come back.

As I am throwing all my clothes everywhere, realizing I have nothing sophisticated or classy enough to wear in London, my phone begins to buzz. I check the caller ID, and see that Max has been messing with my phone again. It says "Mr. Sexy Voice" with a picture of Khan as the photo. Damn Max. I answer, a giggle halfway out.

"Hello, Ben. How was shooting?"

"Fine, Luscious Lily. You sound rather cheeky this evening, been having fun? Am I interrupting something?"

"Luscious Lily?" Luscious Lily. I think my ovaries just exploded.

"Your voice, pet. I find it luscious. Therefore, Luscious Lily. You can call me "Mr. Sexy Voice" if that's what gets you chuffed."

Mr. Sexy Voice?!? How did he know? Max again, she must have texted him while she was changing my contacts. Sure enough, I see a text to his number saying "You are now Mr. Sexy Voice in Lily's phone. – Max"

"Okay, Ben, let's get this straight. We are working together. A lot. I don't date coworkers, not ever. Well, I don't date, period, but that's beside the point. So if we're being friendly, and flirty, that's fine, but know that flirty and friendly is as far as I will take it for the next 11 months. Understood?"

Shit, why did I just talk like that to Benedict Cumberbatch?!? I always do this- I shut everyone into the friend zone, because I know that's where I'll end up right after they meet Max. She doesn't mean to steal my crushes, I know that, but given the choice between a 5'10'' ballerina in a size 2, and a 5'3'' PR Rep in a size 10, who do you think they pick? Coming back from my mental wandering, I notice I've been hearing nothing on the other end of this call. Did he hang up on me? Did I offend him? Oh crap, I could get fired for this. "Ben? Ben?"

"Yes, Lily." I notice he's dropped the luscious. "I wasn't hitting on you, I was just joking. I prefer to get to know a woman before I actually hit on her. If I was suggesting something naughty, you'd know. Friends?"

"Friends. Now can I ask you a very pressing, important question, Mr. Sexy Voice?"

I hear that breathy chuckle again, and know all has been forgiven. "Certainly, my Luscious Lily. How may I assist you?"

"What exactly does one wear in London?"

"Clothes, generally..." I can hear the smile in his voice. "Specifically, warmer clothes, you know a jumper or something. It's rather wet." I can't help myself, I want to hear him laugh again.

"That's what she said!" I exclaim, collapsing into a pile of giggles on my bed.

"Naughty, naughty Lily." He laughs, my seventh grade joke breaking what was left of the tension.

We spend about an hour on the phone, mixing business talk with actual conversation, and by the time he "rings off", I feel like I've made a great friend, a lifetime friend like Max.


	2. Arrivals and Departures

As we were boarding, Jason managed to get his seat changed, so now I'm stuck between his puppy eyes and Max's avoidance of them for the whole flight. After the seatbelt sign is turned off, Max glides past me, running her fingers across Jason's chest as she heads to the bathroom. Two minutes later, Jason rises and I know what that means – Max is playing around with him again. Whoever thinks sex in an airplane bathroom is a good idea has obviously never been in one. I pull out my tablet, checking itineraries and emails before the chaos starts. There's three from Ben.

Can't wait to see you, Luscious Lily. Any idea on an ETA yet? – BC

No answer, guess you're in the air. Fly safe, darling. – BC

Are you ignoring me? Are you stranded on a desert island, needing to be rescued? Are you joining the mile high club? Whatever is happening, I'll see you soon. Also, call me when you arrive. – BC

I smile, put in my earbuds, and start watching "The Hollow Crown". Ben recommended it, so I downloaded it all for the 7 hour flight. Twenty minutes later, I'm totally engrossed, barely noticing that Max has returned, as well as Jason, and his ear phones are plugged into the in-flight movie.

Hours later, with Max and Jason sleeping soundly, I pause the show because my mind is wandering. Ben and I have been calling, emailing, and texting back and forth, and while I feel at ease with him and consider him a friend, albeit a flirtatious one, we've never Skyped or seen each other in person. What if he's expecting, well, Max, and he gets me instead? Since that first night, when I made it clear there would be no dating, we talk all the time. He calls to discuss roles, to practice his American accent, and when he's just plain bored. I complain about men, specifically the absence of them in my life, and recommend books I know he'll never read. But still, pretty people have pretty friends, right? He'll probably avoid me after he meets me, and go clubbing with Max and the skinny squad. That's just the way it goes.

I decide, out of nowhere, to email him all of my worries. We're friends, right? It's a great friendship, although it's a new one, and I'd like to keep it. I've lately taken to screwing up his name on purpose, so I start there.

Benadryl Cucumberpatch –

I'm fine. Honestly, I'm about three hours from Heathrow, and nervous about seeing you, and you seeing me (and Max). I know we're safely in the friend zone, but guys have this pattern of dropping me the instant they meet her. I'm attaching my passport photo, as well as a pic of Max and me at a concert. If you want to date her, or whatever, it's fine, just please don't forget about me. I like being your friend.

Also, I need maps of London, it's so big! (That's what she said!!! ;-p)

Luscious Lily

Before I can lose my nerve, I attach the photos and hit send. Feeling apprehensive and slightly nauseous, I start the show again. Max wakes up, and I tell her all about the email to Ben.

"Oh Lily," she sighs, pursing her lips as she looks at me, "He'll never want you now that he's seen me. I'm sorry, Lil, that's just what happens. I promise I won't touch him, though. If you really want him as a friend, it's the least I can do."

Well, that's Max. She's selfish, and a bit harsh, but I love her all the same. It's impossible not to. She gives me a pat on my arm, and returns to her magazine. I keep hitting refresh on my email, but there's nothing new. I go back to "The Hollow Crown", or try to, and although Tom is delicious (when isn't he?), I can't concentrate. I pull a book out of my bag, and read a while. By the time I remember to check my email, it's almost too late, but there's still nothing there. I clip my seat belt and prepare for landing. A thousand things are running through my head, the foremost being that Ben saw Max's photo and decided to distance himself from me early, to better get to her. What guy wouldn't?

I sit back and sigh, resigning myself to being all alone, again, and seeing Max get everyone and everything, again. Jason sees my face and nods, already knowing what I'm feeling.

"She's a lot, isn't she? Max, I mean. She's perfect, and beautiful, and she knows it. All too well. It can't be easy, being her sidekick all the time. Maybe if you lost some weight, Lil. I know I'm second choice too, that she'll drop me for someone hotter or more famous soon, but I figure better to have one night with a goddess than one hundred nights with a mortal like us. I don't like the sidelines. Time to get off the bench, Lily." He smiles sadly at me. "We're just the backup, Lily, but if you stay in her shadow forever no one will ever see you."

Jason can be an ass, but he's got a point. Sure I'm all alone, but I'm all alone in London! I'll do all the things I want to do, and enjoy myself. Maybe I'll meet someone, and let him see me. By the time we touch the tarmac, I'm over Max's attitude and the lack of reply from Ben. I've talked myself into getting off the bench.

We exit the plane, and I'm one of the last ones off. I decide to take a separate cab to my flat, I'm not sharing with Max so it doesn't matter anyway. As I disembark, I hear a scream. Someone must be hurt, or lost, or something. Who screams like that in an airport? Hello, random screening. The screams get more frequent, and much louder, as I make my way to the luggage carousel. What's going on?


	3. The Driver

I was trying to collect my luggage, wanting nothing more than to get to a bed and sleep for at least 10 hours. God, I hate jet lag. Unfortunately, I can't, because I've discovered the reason for all the screaming. Someone famous is in the airport. Normally, I'm all for some serious fangirling, but I don't feel well and just want the yelling to stop. I finally get my two lonely suitcases – I shipped most of my stuff, it's due to arrive within the week – and head to customs. When I finally get to the front of the line, the agent is very red and flustered.

"Anything to declare?"

"Nope, just clothes and books."

"Well, go on then. Welcome to London, Ms. Forrester." She stamps my passport, and off I go. I'm here! I'm in London. I take a deep breath, reminding myself to get off the bench, and walk forward. As I make my way through the airport, I see a large crowd of screaming, crying females blocking the only way out. Airport security looks uncomfortable, and I feel bad for whoever's stuck in the middle of that mob. There's no way around it, so I start to push my way through. A girl, about seventeen, grabs my arm.

"It's him, it's really him. I can't believe it's him. I hope he'll take a photo!!!!"

"Who?" I ask, ignoring the funny feeling in my stomach.

"Benedict Cumberbatch!" she squeals, pushing us both further and further into the crowd.

Ben? He's here?!? I bet he came to meet Max. Well, I'm not having it. I'm sick and tired of being left behind. I'll just slip out alone, maybe he'll get caught in the crush and won't see me. I'm standing tall, proud of my newfound resolve, and then my normal self surfaces again. I get distracted by the crowd, and I don't know if it's someone else, or my suitcases, or my own two feet, but I trip and face plant right on the linoleum floor. Oddly, I didn't hit anyone. I hear a few people gasp, although no one moves to help me up. Too busy ogling over "Mr. Sexy Voice Pretty Friends" to care, I suppose.

I'm sitting on the floor, rubbing my chin, which hit the floor hard enough to clack my teeth together, when a pair of expensive black dress shoes stops in front of me. I follow the long lines of black trousers, up to a lean waist and torso.

"Miss, Miss, are you alright?" Jeez, I'd know that voice anywhere. Ben. I look all the way up, sheepishly, trying to make light of my spectacular fall.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I just tripped over some of your rabid fans and lost my balance." Standing up, I realize I'll literally have to crane my neck to meet his eyes. 5'3'' in my flats, he looks like a giant. Or a god. He's still talking, but I've checked out, taking in his grey dress shirt, rolled up sleeves, and those incredible, fathomless eyes, neither blue nor green but somehow both. Yup, definitely a god. He's stopped talking, and is looking at me politely, with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Lily?" He asks, breaking into a huge, cheesy grin. "Luscious Lily?"

"Hi Ben."

"You're here! Safe and sound, mostly. This whole mess started when I came to pick you up. Hello, love."

He picks up my bags, nods to security, and we start walking to the exit. Behind us I can hear some of the guards announcing: "Alright, ladies and gents. Mr. Cumberbatch was here to pick up a friend. Time to move along."

"I guess you really fell for me, huh?" He laughs. "I got your email, Lily. How could you believe I'd abandon you like that? I'm not that kind of man, and frankly I'm hurt that you thought I was. We're friends, no bird is going to change that, no matter how pretty she is. Let's get to the car, Tom's waiting and he can get impatient."

That's odd. He's worried about his driver getting impatient? Doesn't he get paid to wait? I see a gunmetal grey Jag in the loading area, and know this must be Ben's. There are several airport guards standing around it, and he smiles and thanks them all as he loads my bags into the boot. Ben opens the rear door for me, and I sigh as I slide into the supple leather seats, closing my eyes in relief. Surprisingly, Ben climbs into the front seat, folding his long legs and sliding in. "Ready, mate. To mine, alright? Lil, we'll go to my flat and grab some food, and then get you sorted."

I'm fine with that. Ben looks back at me and smiles, pointing to the seat next to me. A bouquet of red and orange lilies sit on the seat, along with three maps of London and a Cadbury bar. "Welcome to London, luscious Lily. We might just keep you forever. Eh, Tom?" The driver nods, his hoodie sliding back from his face as he looks at Ben. "Sorry, mate. Lily, meet Tom. Tom, Lily. Knowing your preference for full names, Lil, this is Thomas William Hiddleston, my best mate. He'll be filling in on some of my tour guide duties this week, when I have to work."

Tom. Bloody. Hiddleston. Ben brought him as a freakin driver and I'm supposed to act normal?!? Ben winks at me, and I feel my cheeks turning red as I remember a drunken call three nights ago, about people we thought were hot. Ben was being vague, giving answers about personality and general looks. My answers were much more specific- after a few drinks I get chatty (and touchy feely, but that's another issue).

~FLASHBACK~

Ben: C'mon luscious. Give me a top three. Blokes you'd like to do the naughty with. I'm curious.

Me: Well, my number two used to be you, Mr. Sexy Voice, so how about the other two?

Ben: Only number two?!? I'm number one now, right? Looking to get naughty, Lily?

Me: Okay, Ben, you're number one. Always number one. Oh baby, oh baby.

Ben: Ouch, Lil. I like my ladies with a little more enthusiasm. C'mon, love, the others?

Me: Fine, fine. David Tennant. I know he's married, but that hair! When he smiles, I forget to breathe. And Tom Hiddleston. Everyone loves him as Loki, and trust me, he wouldn't have to ask me to kneel twice, but I prefer him in interviews and things when he's just being himself. He seems so sweet, and genuine. Easy on the eyes, too. Happy, Cabbagepatch?

Ben: Ahahaha! I knew it! We may have lost the war in the Colonies, but we are making up for it by stealing the hearts of your women!

~PRESENT DAY~

I can't believe him! I smile, thank him for the flowers and stuff, and sit back. Thankfully, Tom can't see my face, all red and panicky. I close my eyes, hoping he just doesn't look. Forty five minutes later, Ben wakes me, gently touching my shoulder. I guess my jet lag was worse than I thought. "Love, we're at my flat. It's already half nine, why don't we get some take away and you can crash here tonight? Tom's staying on as well, we can get you sorted tomorrow."

Damn it! I feel like an idiot! Alone in a car with the two hottest men on the planet, and I fall asleep. Oh look, there's drool on my shoulder. I bet I snored, too. Fantastic. Just fantastic. Why do I care, anyway? It's not like either of them would ever be interested in clumsy, awkward me.

Ben goes and gets my bags, and true to form, I stumble getting out of the car, plunging headfirst into another meeting with the ground. Strong, lean arms wrap around my waist, saving me from another embarrassing fall. If Ben is a God, this man is the entire Pantheon. Beautiful, shining blue eyes stare into my plain grey ones as he gently helps me right myself. As quickly as they came, those strong, warm hands are gone, and I look away, mortified. He bows slightly (men actually do that?!?!), taking my hand and barely brushing his lips across my knuckles. I am never washing my hand again.

"Lily, may I call you Lily? I'm Tom. It's a delight to make your acquaintance, Ben has told me many things about you." As he releases my hand, I feel the blood rush to my face again, and seeing the little sparkle in his eyes I know Ben has ratted me out. They each grab a bag, Ben smirking at me as he says "New legs, Lil?" I could hit him. We enter a beautiful brick building, dodging the photographers and their endless shouts of "Ben! Tom!" and I look for the lift. As Ben unlocks the foyer door, I realize this whole building, all four floors, is his.

"Crap, Ben, got enough house here? Why didn't I just stay with you?"

"Ah hahaha, calm down naughty girl. I do have this place all to myself, but Tom stays whenever he's in town. He's house hunting. There's only two bedrooms, so unless you want to share..." he wiggles his eyebrows at me as I snort.

"Easy, tiger. If there's only two bedrooms, where am I sleeping tonight?"

"In mine." Ben and Tom say, almost exactly in unison. "Absolutely not," Ben smiles, "My house, my guests, my couch. She'll sleep in my room. No buts. I can sleep in my study across the hall. It'll be tight, but I'm sure I can make it fit." Wiggling my eyebrows right back at him, I squeal "That's what she said!!" at the same time as he does, both of us collapsing in laughter. Tom looks on, smiling confusedly.

"Bathroom?" I ask, needing a pee and to splash some cold water on my face. Ben hands me my carry on. "Last door on the left is the loo, darling. Take your time, have a shower. I'll order some food."

Thirty minutes later, I'm showered and much more awake. I follow the sound of voices upstairs, lingering outside the kitchen.

"She's a great girl, Tom, and a fantastic friend, but she's broken. She thinks so little of herself that she truly believed I would drop her for that selfish prat Max. I wish I knew who broke her, I'd return the favor."

"I get it Ben, I'm not daft. I'm not saying I'll do anything about it, I just wanted you to know I felt something. I'd be stupid not to, like you said, she's great. But if you want me to stand down, just say the word, mate."

I start to hum, loudly, to announce my arrival, not wanting Ben to say anything else. My head is swimming, surely he can't have felt something for me? They probably knew I was coming and staged the whole thing to make me feel better. Nice try, Ben. As I cross the threshold of the kitchen, they both look up, tumblers of amber liquid in their hands. I never noticed Tom's hands, his long elegant fingers and graceful movements. Oh man am I in deep.

"Hello pet. Feel better? I ordered take away, it should be here shortly. I'd like to go over your plans in the morning, and then we'll get you moved in." Ben takes me over to the window. "That flat I found you? It's just there." He gestures across the street. "I like to keep my friends close."

"Can I get a glass of that?" I gesture to his glass, just as the doorbell rings. "I'll get the door, you get the booze." After collecting our food from a rather disappointed delivery boy, and braving the camera flashes ("Who are you? Are you dating Ben? Or Tom? Where are they?"), we gather around the kitchen island, eating, talking and laughing. At one point, Ben and I are in hysterics over Tom's "snake hips", which he decided to demonstrate when my phone rang, playing "SexyBack" as Max's ringtone. I ignored it. Eventually, we're all exhausted, and Ben leads me to his room. His monstrous bed looks so comfy I think I might cry. He gestures across the hall, to the study, and then next door, to the loo. "Tom's on the other side of the loo..." he smirks, "...in case you wanted to know. Top floor is storage, mainly furniture, third floor is living quarters, and here we are." He grabs a tee shirt and a pair of pajama pants from his closet, bending to kiss my forehead as he passes.

"Goodnight, luscious Lily. I so look forward to spending more time together. By the way, I've met women like Max before. I dislike them quite a bit, as I recall. Pleasant dreams."


	4. I See You

I stretch, groaning lightly, and look around. This room is amazing. Large dormer windows overlook a quaint garden, I seemed to have missed that last night. I straighten the massive bed as best I can, throw on some jeans and a tee, and head upstairs to the kitchen. Neither of the guys is up yet, so I put the kettle on and check my phone. My face is blocked by the screen as I hear someone enter the kitchen, so engrossed in my emails I don’t bother to check who it is.   
“Cuppa, Lily?”  
I drop the phone and almost fall off the stool trying to get it. Tom kneels on the floor and hands it to me, a smile lighting up his gorgeous face. I say the first thing that enters my mind: “Loki of Asgard on his knees? Surely this is a first. Shouldn’t I be the one kneeling?” God, I’m dumb. There go whatever feelings he thought he might have had for me, as well as what’s left of my self-respect. To my surprise, he chuckles, returning to the tea. After a few moments, he reaches around me from behind, placing a steaming mug in front of me on the bar. His mouth hovers near my ear, and he chuckles again, softly, sending a lightning bolt straight through me.   
“Eventually, Lily, you will kneel, and you will like it. Everyone kneels.”  
Christ, I need a cold shower. Tom returns to his tea, flipping through the paper as he sips. Ben walks in, looking like an adorably disheveled teddy bear, smacking a kiss on the top of my head as he grabs his mug. “Eggs, cereal, toast, darling?”  
“No, Ben, I’m fine. I’d like to get myself moved in, though. You can’t be comfortable on the couch. I have a month to get settled before Madman and the troupe arrive, and I want to see as much as I can in that time.” Tom coughs, reminding us that he’s still there. Ben and I both look at him, knowing he has something to say. “Well, mate, how about Lily and I go meet her landlord and collect her keys, and you can go to work. Then tonight we’ll go to the Eye, and have dinner somewhere along the Thames.”  
Wait wait what?!?! A full day with Mr. Hotness and no Ben as a buffer? I can’t do this. “Sure,” Ben says, before I can protest, “I’m on set for fifteen hours today, so Lil, I’ll call you tomorrow. Tom, don’t forget your keys.” Him and Tom exchange a cryptic look, and he strides out of the kitchen, mug in one hand and toast in the other.   
“So…” I don’t know what to say. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m sure you have better things to do than play tour guide for a geeky, awkward friend of a friend. If you could just give me a lift to the landlord’s, and back, or point me in the direction of the nearest subway, you can go on with your day.”  
He smiles again, this time his eyes clouded with hurt. “Do you not want to spend the day together? I fully understand if you don’t, really. You hardly know me, and a day together means a day dodging paps and crazy fans.” I snort into my tea. Not want to? Good God, man, say the word and I’ll spend every day with you, forever, just looking at you. Wow, that’s not creepy. “Something funny?”  
“I am a crazy fan, Tom. I have all the Marvel movies. I’ve been to ComicCon, I was in Hall H when Loki paid us all a visit. I have this nagging suspicion that Ben is forcing you to be nice to me, holding something over your head or whatever. I’m not pretty, or famous, or even particularly funny, so he has to be bribing you somehow. So just drop the charade, okay? I’m sick of being “pet”, a part of some sick joke. Just tell me the truth." My hands are shaking with anger at this point, and Tom looks stunned. “I’m sorry if that was too blunt for you, but I’ve had enough. Ben keeps playing around like I’m some sort of child, and Max is so above me she hardly even notices I’m around, and you, you with your flirting and your sexy whispers, it’s all just too much. I just want to be seen, for me, just once.”  
He picks up his mug, folds the paper, and puts everything away, taking care to keep as much distance between us as he can. I return to my phone, knowing I’ve hurt him somehow, in some way I don’t understand. At the doorway, he stops. “Lily.” I look up, fully expecting him to tell me to leave.  
“I see you.”


	5. Bathrooms and Boardrooms

Great. Now I feel like a terrible person. Not only did I insult Ben, but Tom as well. After finishing my tea, I shuffle downstairs, planning to lock myself in the bathroom and have a good cry. The tears start flowing before I get there, blinding me. I push open the door, smacking into something wet – and solid.   
“Oy! Watch it love! You almost knocked us both out!” Tom, a towel around his waist, apparently showered after my little tantrum. “Are you alright, Lily?”  
He must have noticed my staring. I swear, it’s physically impossible for any red blooded woman not to stare. Perfect chest, incredible abs, and those “V” things…I don’t know what they’re called, but I know they make smart girls stupid. I think I might pass out. All this delicious man meat, and I ran headlong into it, like a linebacker. I should say something. Anything. Think, stupid, think!  
“Erm, nice towel.” Nice towel? Smooth. What is wrong with me?  
“Eh hehehe thanks? Would you mind terribly moving slightly to the left? I need to readjust my nice towel before it changes its loyalties to the floor. By the way, what are you doing here? Not that I mind the visit, but it is customary to knock before entering someone’s bedroom, is it not?”  
‘Your, your, your bedroom? I was looking for the bathroom. I’m so sorry, Tom. Not just about this, about everything. The stress of this trip, coupled with finding Ben an honest to God good guy, and meeting you, just has me so on edge. I’ll go now.” I back away, avoiding his eyes, and him altogether.   
“Lily, stop. Lily, look at me.”  
Sweet baby Jesus, now he wants me to look at him?!? Eyes, Lily, aim for the eyes. No lower, or you’ll get stupid again. And possibly pregnant, from all that sexy. Eyes only. I meet his eyes slowly, embarrassed and aroused at the same time. “Lily, we need to talk. About quite a few things. But I need to put some clothes on. So give me ten minutes to get straight, and I’ll meet you in the living room, okay? Ten minutes.”  
I nod, leaving his room and fully closing the door behind me. Really, who leaves their door open when they’re practically naked anyway? Back upstairs I go, into the fridge for a soda, then into the living room. It’s chock full of all kinds of vinyl records, music memorabilia, and awards, so I shift a pile of old Billboard magazines from the couch to the end table and sit down. I wonder what Ben will say, when Tom tells him about my tantrum and our head on collision. I’m sure he’ll find it hysterical. My mind wanders as I relive that collision, seeing again that magnificent body, damp and shining, pressed against mine. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to being naked with Tom, might as well enjoy it. I pull out my phone and check my Twitter. 37 new tweets to me? From who? Why? I scroll through, seeing a headline at the bottom of my feed.  
@CELEBRITYCRUSHESONLINE  
“MYSTERY WOMAN BUNKS WITH CUMBERBATCH AND HIDDLESTON: WHO IS SHE?”  
Below it is a link, and I can’t help but click it. I see a photo of myself from yesterday, jet lagged and bewildered.   
“Mystery woman spotted with Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston three times in London yesterday. First, our favorite dapper chaps arrived at Heathrow, Benedict braving fangirls and the Airline Safety Board to meet her flight while Hiddles waited in the Jag. After returning to Cumby’s flat carrying luggage and flowers, the trio wasn’t seen together again, but a source tells us she answered the door for a delivery boy, looking fresh. Both men are single, but judging from her appearance, she can’t be dating either one. So, thoughts? A cousin? A new mate? Updates as information is uncovered.”  
I read the comments, most of them extremely critical of my weight and appearance, and begin crying again. All that these people are doing is confirming my own thoughts, cementing my doubt and insecurities even further. I’m wiping away all the tears with my sleeve when Tom comes in, the smile clearing from his face like rain on a window pane. He sits on the couch, close enough for me to feel his body heat but not touching.  
“Lily, please. Why are you crying? I can’t handle to see a beautiful woman cry, I would literally sell my soul to make it stop. Tell me what’s happened. Let me in.” I thrust my phone at him, leaving the couch to look out the window. “Oh Lily, sweet girl, come over here. The paps are rubbish, everyone knows. Last week when I moved in here, Ben and I were “dating”. The week before that, I was retiring and Ben was linked to four different women in six days. It’s nothing, dear heart, nothing at all.”  
“Easy for you to say, Tom. You’re used to this, and as far as I know, no one’s ever flat out called you a cow or stated you aren’t attractive enough to be in someone’s company. Can’t you see how much that hurt, how much of that I already know? I’m not good enough, not for you, or for Ben. I never have been. I never will be. Just put me out with the bins, because you’re only going to break my heart.” The tears are pouring down my face, laying my insecurities bare is the last thing I had planned to do.   
“You’re right.” He rubs his face, then looks at me, his eyes searching mine for something. What, I don’t know. “I don’t know how this could feel for you, for someone as sensitive as you are. But know this, Lily Forrester, you are good enough. I’ve only known you one day and I can see that. And I would never, ever break your heart. For the record, neither would Ben. I say, let’s show them how wrong they are. Get dressed darling, and let’s go. NOW.”  
“Go? Go where?”  
“Just put on something cheeky, and trust me.” Oh, there’s that smile. The smile that could coerce anyone into anything.   
I run to Ben’s room, knowing exactly what to grab. I snatch the clothes out of my bag, changing fast. Once I’m dressed, I run my fingers through my wavy brown hair and apply some eyeliner. Finished. Back up I go, taking the stairs two at a time. I slow to a walk, entering the living room again and smiling. “Cheeky enough for you, Mr. Hiddleston?” He glances up, then breaks into a grin, taking in my black ballet flats, green leggings, denim skirt, and favorite tee. “UP ALL NIGHT TO GET LOKI? Really? That’s still a thing?”  
We walk down to the front door together as he explains: “My Jag is where we left it yesterday. Straight to the door, I’ll get you in, then go round and drive. Give me your hand.” He picks up my hand, kissing my knuckles again. Crap, I think I just lost the feeling in my legs. With an impish grin, he flings open the door, almost dragging me behind him.   
“TOM! TOM! WHO IS SHE?!? A COUSIN? NEW MATE? TOM, THIS WAY!!!”   
He opens the door, and slides me in, those graceful hands on the small of my back. He shuts my door, making long strides across the front and climbing in. After buckling his safety belt, he puts his hand on my knee, the paps still snapping away. ‘Let’s go get your keys, shall we love?” He peels out of the space, gunning the engine and shifting gears.   
“Where do we get my keys?”  
“It’s Ben’s friend, Emma’s, flat so we’re going to pop over to her work and pick them up. She’s a fashion editor at a women’s magazine. She’s leaving tonight to meet her fiancée in Rome, and get married there. Ben’s always been a little in love with her, so he really didn’t want to see her today. They dated, years ago.”  
Great. A fashion plate ex of Ben’s has my keys, and we’re going to have to swim through a sea of super skinny supermodels to get to her. Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse. We pull into a parking garage, screeching into a space near the lift. Before I know it, we’re out and heading upwards in it, Tom seeming to know exactly where we’re going. Sure enough, he holds open a black lacquered door for me, and I see a beautiful, exotic woman behind a lucite desk. “Can I help you? I think you’re lost.” She sneers at me, looking my outfit and my appearance up and down. “Oh, are you one of the makeover girls?” Just then, Tom enters the office, his phone to his ear. “Oh, Mr. Hiddleston! Can I get you anything? Is Ms. Dunleavy expecting you?” The long legged woman who just insulted me is off her feet in an instant, racing past me to get near Tom. He holds up a finger, and she waits at his side. When he hangs up and turns to face her, I can practically see her desire humming through the air.  
“Pippa. Please let Emma know we’ve arrived.” He turns away from her, towards me. “Lily, can we chat for a minute? Over there?” He nods towards a seating area a good distance away from perfect Pippa and her desk. “That was Ben. He seems to think Emma might give us a rough go of it. He says if she gets rude, to just leave, and he’ll call in some blokes to rearrange the top floor of his flat for you. I wonder if that’s not the best idea anyway. So be ready.”  
“Mr. Hiddleston, Ms. Dunleavy see you and your…friend now. Right this way.” We’re ushered into an office far more spacious and expensive than mine could ever be. A tall, regal blonde sits behind the desk. THIS is the kind of woman I expected these guys to have around. I glance at Tom, and see a flash of anger dash across his face, changing those remarkable eyes from a clear and warm summer day to a hurricane. “Emma.”  
“Tom. Who is your interesting…companion? Is this creature my new tenant?” His anger returns, full force this time. I can see her glaring back, and I wonder what the real issue is here. Clearly, I’m just an excuse to fight.   
“Either give her the keys or not, Emma. I really don’t care. Let’s just get on with it.”  
“Get on with it? GET ON WITH IT?!? I threw myself at your feet, Tom Hiddleston, and you acted like I was a piece of rubbish stuck to your boot. How did you think I’d be? I’d love to know how this poor little bird feels. I’m sure you and Ben have been putting on your flirty, funny best mates show since she arrived, and she’s clearly not the type that can handle all that attention well. She’s probably half in love with one or both of you by now. Aren’t you, you frumpy thing?” The smirk on her face is almost too much to handle. Stunned, I stammer out a “No.” How did Ben ever like, nevermind love, this nasty, vicious woman?  
“Emma. Please.” Tom looks angry, and sad.  
“There was a time when I would have melted to hear you beg me, Tom. I’ve changed my mind. Go find another flat for the year, you sad, tragic girl. Your “mate” here just lost you mine. Toodle-loo, Tom. Go to hell.”  
He strides out of the office and down the hall so fast I have to run to keep up. We blow past Pippa, the smile fading from her face as he rushes by. Safely in the lift, I catch my breath. Tom is still glaring, clenching and releasing his fists and exhaling shakily. I feel terrible. Obviously there’s some horrible history between him, Ben, and Emma, and Tom willingly walked into a fight for me. We get off at the third floor, and I notice his distance as we get back in the car. He slams the car into reverse, still angry, and presses the hands free button on the dash. “Call Bendy Dick.” Um, what? I’m barely holding back my giggles as the phone rings.   
“Yeah, Tommy, I’m in the chair, so you’re on speaker.”   
“I’m in the car with Lily, you’re on speaker as well. We’ve just left Emma, and that delightful creature has refused us the keys. She was very rude to Lily, and she brought up Boxing Day. I lost it, mate. Lily stays with us.”  
“Lily, love, are you alright?” I can hear the worry in Ben’s voice, so even though I’m still reeling I assure him I’m fine.   
“I’ll call the movers after lunch, mate. Lily and I are going to the Bloody Rose.” Tom looks at me and mouths “Hungry?” as Ben rants about Emma, promising to call her and give her what for. I nod, looking out the window. It’s nice to have real friends, ones who will fight for you. At that moment, my phone rings, playing “SexyBack” again. Max. “Hey, Max. Now is not a good time.”  
“Well, too bad. You have some serious explaining to do.” I can hear the anger in her voice. “I knew you were getting to be friends with Benedict, and that’s fine, although I find him boring. But now, Jason’s tagging you in paparazzi shots with Tom Hiddleston, holding hands or with his hand on your knee. What on earth is going on? You’re not dating him, of course, so what is this?”  
Suddenly, I’ve just reached my Max limit for the day. Maybe for my lifetime. I’ve had enough of feeling less than because I’m not skinny, or because I don’t look like her. Enough of her talking to me like I’m her little charity case. With Tom next to me and Ben still on speaker, I start yelling. “Stop, Max! Just stop. I hate it when you talk to me like that. I hate it when you act like I couldn’t possibly date anyone you find attractive. Friends shouldn’t act like this. I’m always happy for you, always supporting you, and all you do is tear me down. What is so terrible about me, that I can’t be loved? Or wanted?” Hot, angry tears run down my cheeks, and I notice that the car has stopped moving. Tom is looking at me, nodding, and I hear Ben whisper “Get ‘er, love.”  
“Lily.” Max sounds exasperated, like she’s talking to a toddler. “I just try to be honest with you. What do you think is going to happen – one of them will fall in love with you? Life isn’t a fairytale, and even if it was, you’re definitely not the princess. Get a grip.” I sit there, open mouthed. I can’t believe I put up with this for so long. It looks like our toxic friendship has finally reached its end. As I start to tell her that, Tom touches my arm and leans close to my phone, and by extension my ear.  
“Lily, lovely lovely Lily. Come back to bed. I’m not finished with you yet, not hardly.” That dangerous Loki grin is back, and he’s using that low, growling whisper that makes me want to jump his bones. Unconsciously, I lick my lips as Max stammers in my ear: “I can tell you’re, um, busy. Call me, uh, when you’re, well, finished.”   
“So, tomorrow, then? Bye, Max.” I hang up, then break into an uncontrollable laugh, Ben and Tom right behind me.   
“That was bloody brilliant, mate. I wish we could’ve seen the look on her face.” Ben’s gasping with laughter and so am I, my stomach hurting from laughing so hard. I smile at Tom broadly. “Thanks, Tom. I needed that. Lunch?”   
Ben rings off as Tom wags his eyebrows at me. “Or back to bed?”   
“Shut up, you. Let’s eat, I’m starving.”


	6. A Date?

After an excellent lunch, and an even better dessert, thanks to Tom’s sweet tooth, we returned to Ben’s home. Tom gets on the phone with some movers while I call the shipping company to change the delivery address. They say my belongings should arrive the day after tomorrow. Dangling a set of keys from his fingers, Tom gestures to the stairs. “Feel like checking out your new living quarters, love? I’ve never been up there myself.”  
After unlocking the door at the top of the landing, he holds open the door and I slide past him, my skin tingling when I accidentally brush his arm. Once inside, I gasp in surprise. We’re in a huge, airy loft style room, with three doors opposite the one we just used leading to unused bedrooms and a bath. Scattered pieces of furniture are everywhere, but I see a leather couch, a bookcase, and a dining set that I can use, among other things. There’s a cute little kitchen tucked into one corner, and I’m already making a shopping list when Tom calls me into the room to the left of the bathroom, the one that would overlook the garden. “Lily, you have got to see this!”  
Inside the larger bedroom is a four poster canopy bed that literally takes up 75% of the space. It’s covered in sumptuous emerald green linens and curtains, with golden accents. I take a running leap and jump into all that coziness. “MINE!” Tom laughs and watches, pulling his phone out to get a picture of me buried in this continent of a bed before he sits down on the edge. I feel the need to thank him, so I knee walk across and touch his shoulder.  
“You, Thomas William Hiddleston, are the kindest, most adorable man I have ever known. Thank you for trying to support me, and for standing up for me. I am so honored to call you my friend. Now, get your lanky ass off my bed, the doorbell is ringing.” He gets up, looking at me strangely, and then goes to the door. “Alright, love, I’ll go let the movers in. You stay up here and decide where everything will go.”   
After the movers have relocated anything I can’t use to the spare bedroom, it looks very empty in here. Once my stuff arrives, though, it will be perfect. Tom has left, promising to return after a meeting, and I’m sitting in a big armchair, trying to think. What am I doing here? Are Max and Evil Emma right? Are the guys just pitying me, like the dog at the shelter that gets adopted because it’s so ugly? And why did Tom look at me like that, like I had just rescued him from a burning building or something? What is happening to me?   
I decide to call Max. I need someone to talk to, someone who isn’t these guys. I know she is likely furious, but she’s all I’ve got. I pull out my phone, and see over 100 messages and emails. What on earth? I start tapping the screen, and read another article, this one mentioning me by name.  
HIDDLES MYSTERY WOMAN – REVEALED!  
A source has discovered the identity of the woman spotted carousing about London with Tom Hiddleston. Her name is Lily Forrester, a 29 year old public relations guru from Pennsylvania, US. More information added as it is discovered.   
Jesus, these people won’t leave it alone! Carousing? Really? Public relations guru? I write playbill blurbs about bitchy ballerinas. Speaking of bitchy ballerinas, I have a text from Max as well.  
If u and ur new fuck buddy want 2 b like that, its fine. He will drop u soon neway, ur just an easy pc of ass. Enjoy ur moment in the sun, this is all ull ever get.  
That nasty witch! I hear Tom calling from downstairs, and leave my phone to go find him.   
“Hullo, Lily. I’m all done with my obligations, I have two glorious days free of work commitments ahead of me. I’m honestly thinking about taking the battery out of my phone, if it wouldn’t give Luke a stroke. So, the Eye tonight and dinner? I’d like to get the chance to talk without any drama. I hardly know anything about you, I’d like to though.”  
Is he flirting with me? Is this a date? Or a couple of chums out on the town? God, I suck at this. Screw it, I’m going to ask him. It worked with Ben, didn’t it? I back up, so I can see all of him. It’s time to get my heart ripped out. At least I have a big comfy bed to go to. “Tom…is this, tonight, a date? You and me, is something starting here? If it’s not, that’s fine - I just need to know. I need it to be clear, from day one. I need…” He cuts me off in the middle of my sentence, closing the gap between us and gently pressing his lips to my forehead. He pulls back, taking my hands in his. “Yes, Lily, yes. Something is starting. I hope it is, anyway. When you fell into my arms last night, I didn’t want to let you go. I could tell I needed to know you. To romance you. Then, this afternoon, when you were rolling around that bed with abandon, it took all I had not to jump on the bed with you and show you a better use for it. Over and over. So, Lily Forrester, would you honor me with dinner, a ride on the Eye, and some pudding? Please?”   
I can’t breathe. There’s no air. There are no words. Tom looks at me expectantly, eyes shining. “I, um, I, oh God, Tom, yes. Yes!” He smiles, looking me dead in the eye as he sniggers. “Now, now, darling, save that for later.” He leans in close, he must have noticed how his growling in my ear affects me. “Trust me, my pet, there’s plenty of time for all of that. And when I have you, which I will, there will be no need to cry out to god for help. The only name on your lips will be mine. I will hear you beg before this night is over.”  
“No, Tom, you won’t.” The surprise is evident on his face. “I have known you for less than a day. I require a minimum of two dates, and a substantial amount of trust, before I even consider taking any man to my bed.” Did I just turn down Tom effing Hiddleston? What is wrong with me? Thousands of women would kill for one hour in bed with him, and I just said no.   
“Okay, Lily, okay. That might have been a little forward of me. I’ll be a perfect gentleman from now on. You should know, though, that I don’t often get told “no”. It’s kind of a turn on.”   
“Oh, do you proposition strange women often, Tom? Anything you want to share?”  
“Ehhehehehe…there’s been no one, Lily. Not for a long time. 3 years, actually. It’s hard to find someone to actually connect with when you spend your life under a microscope.”  
I smile, lowering my voice and leaning into his ear. Turnabout is fair play, right? “Poor Thomas…”I feel him tense against me, his hand splays on the counter. “Say that again…”he murmurs. I pull away, smiling as I leave the room. “If you want to go out, I have to get ready. You can come up and get me at, say, 6:30?” I don’t give him a chance to answer, sauntering to the stairs and up to my attic flat. When I get to the top floor, I lock the door behind me. Since the only door key is on my keyring, I know I’ve bought myself a little privacy. Tom was kind enough to bring my luggage up while I was supervising the movers, so I have everything I need to prepare for my date. With Tom Hiddleston. Who has made it clear he wants to do much, much more than have dinner. AAAHHHH!  
I rush into my new bedroom, and start pulling my clothes out of my bag like a crazy person. I finally get my hands on the dress I’m looking for, a green printed fifties style cocktail dress with a nipped in waist and a sweetheart neckline. Perfect. I dig my black heels out of the other bag, and my jewelry and toiletries. After showering, I carefully apply my makeup and slip into my dress. I pin curl my hair, which sits just past my shoulders, and pull on my shoes. Simple gold jewelry and a clutch complete my outfit, and I don’t look too bad. Definitely not good enough for Tom Hiddleston, but not bad at all. I slide my keys and phone into my clutch, as well as my favorite red lipstick. It’s 6:25. I can hear him coming up the stairs, and then he stops outside the door. That adorable oaf is talking to himself!   
“Calm down, Tom, just settle down. It’s just a first date. No big deal. Knock on the door, pick her up, and take her to dinner. You can do this. Deep breath, and knock.” He’s too cute! Giving himself an unnecessary pep talk in the hall. I’m resisting the urge to yank the door open and kiss him.   
*TAP TAP TAP TAP*  
I open the door, still smiling about his little one on one chat, to see him in a grey suit that fits like it was made for him. It probably was. He’s wearing a green v-neck shirt on underneath instead of a button down, and I snort at our accidental coordination. “Lily Forrester…wait, what is your whole name?”  
“It’s Lilianna Grace Forrester.”   
“See, learned something new already. Lilianna Grace Forrester, you are stunning. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Delicious. Delectable. Oh, right, perfect gentleman. Scratch all that. You look lovely. Are you ready?”  
“Why yes, Thomas, I am.”   
“Shall we? And can I tell you that I love it when you call me Thomas? To the fans I’m Tom, to my mates Tommy, but to you, and my mum, I’m Thomas. We have reservations at 7:15, London Eye tickets for 9:00, and I thought we’d finish the evening with some ice cream. Is that okay?” Okay? That sounds like the best night ever. I’m still not sure this isn’t a pity date, but I’m just going with it. My text alert chimes just as we reach the front door, and I motion for Tom to wait and pull my phone out of my bag. It’s another one of the dancers I’m friendly with, Ashlie. She’s sent me a screenshot of another gossip site, captioning it “WHAT?!?!”  
Via MEDIAMAVENS (pic of Tom and I rushing to the car this morning, hand in hand)  
Lily Forrester, recently spotted with Tom Hiddleston, may have slept her way to fame. Sources close to the PR pro say she has spent much of her 24 hours in London in Hiddles’ bed! A former friend tells Media Mavens that Hiddles is keeping his little flower very busy, so busy in fact that she won’t even answer her phone. Sounds like the God of Mischief is living up to his name!  
Oh God. Now I have to show him this. Poor Thomas. He was trying to be a good friend, and that bitch Max is fucking up both of our lives. I decide to get it over with. “Thomas. Tom. You should see this.”


	7. Hatters, Eyes, and Custard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy fluffy fluff fluff date...couldn't help myself.<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mild description of domestic violence, and emotional abuse. It's brief, and relatively vague, but I don't want to trigger anyone, so heads up.

After repeating his earlier remarks about paparazzi being useless bloodsuckers, Tom makes me promise to put it all out of my head. I start to protest, and he puts a finger to my lips and smiles. “Loki of Asgard does not tolerate interruptions, woman. Do as you are told.”  
Ooohh, I like dominant Thomas. We’ll never make it to the third date, my sex threshold, but I’ll be storing that for later. We push through the paps to the Jag, and he helps me in, effectively blocking any accidental crotch shots they might get, and obviously loving every minute of it. He goes to the driver’s side with them all following and gets in. The engine purrs to life as he looks over at me. Slowly he reaches across the car, his forearm grazing the tops of my breasts as he grasps my seat belt. “Safety first” he whispers, his eyes never leaving mine. After what feels like a lifetime, he turns and faces the road, pulling out into the street and masterfully guiding the car through the busy London traffic. We pull up in front of a brownstone, with an etching of a rabbit and a top hat on the glass window. A valet appears out of the shadows, collecting Tom’s keys. “You break her, I break you.” It takes me a minute to realize he’s talking about his Jaguar.  
“Welcome back to Hatter’s, Mr. Hiddleston. Please go inside, Jack is expecting you.” We enter the restaurant, and the first thing I notice is that all the windows are covered. We barely get three steps inside when a small man in a black suit steps forward. “Ah, Mr. Hiddleston. Welcome back. May I please have your mobile device? And your lovely companion’s as well?” Tom hands the man his cell phone, so I do the same. “Excellent, excellent. Now, please follow me. Mr. Hiddleston, I believe you spoke to Imara earlier, so you are aware of tonight’s theme. Oh, here we are. Please allow me, my dear.” The man pulls out my chair, gesturing for me to sit. After shaking out my napkin and placing it on my lap, he scurries away.  
“Thomas! What is this place?” He laughs at the bewildered expression on my face.  
“It’s a restaurant, Lily. A very private restaurant that caters to people like me. Jack and the staff keep quiet about who comes and goes, and they take everyone’s phone at the door to prevent social media posts. It’s one of the only places where I can be myself. I so want to get to know you, and you me, so Hatter’s seemed like the perfect place to start.”  
“What did that little man mean, the theme for tonight?”  
“Every night, Hatter’s chef, Uri, crafts a different menu based on some inspiration he feels. There are no menus here. I hope that’s alright.” A waiter approaches the table, asking for our drink orders. I request white wine, and Tom orders a neat scotch.  
“So what’s tonight’s theme, Thomas?”  
“Seduction” he purrs.  
Oh my gracious. Is it getting warm in this place? I sip my wine, marveling at the gorgeous man across the table from me. “So, Lily, let’s play twenty questions. Choose your queries wisely, though, because under Hiddleston rules we both must answer every one. I’ll ask first, it’s an easy one. Favorite color?”  
“Green. Not bright green, but the rich, lush green of a forest at twilight. You?”  
“Blue. The silvery blue the sky turns just before dawn. Your turn.”  
“Favorite food?”  
He smiles. “Sweets. I have quite the sweet tooth. Cheesecake, or apple crumble with custard.”  
“Mine’s caramel. Put caramel on anything and I’m all in.”  
“Best friend? Wait, I already know that one, Max right?” He spits out her name like he’s tasting something vile. “Okay, longest relationship?”  
“2 ½ years. Rich and I were happy, I thought, until I came home and found him and Max in bed. She said it was for my own good. No one since he left, in 2014.” Okay, so I left out quite a bit there. But it’s a first date, right? You don’t tell everything, just the cliff notes.  
“Mine was Caroline. 9 months. I figured out, with Ben’s help, that she was more interesting on camera than off. No chemistry.”  
Hmmm…what do I want to know about Thomas? “Siblings?”  
“Two sisters. Parents divorced. All close.”  
“One sister. Parents deceased. Friendly, not close.”  
“Oh, Lilianna, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine losing my parents, especially my mum. That must be hard for you.” The waiter appears again, with plates this time. It’s some kind of appetizer. “Sea scallops in butterscotch glaze over a bed of English peas and creamy risotto.” He bows and walks away. I pick up my silverware, eyeing Thomas as he thinks of another question. After eating a few bites, he continues.  
“Education? You’re a fan, so I’m sure you’re familiar with mine, but what about you?”  
“Penn State for my Bachelors, major in PR minor in English Literature. Then Temple for my Masters in PR.” As our plates are taken and replaced with salads, I try to come up with another question. There’s all kinds of fancy greenery on the plate, but a salad is a salad. I catch the waiter saying something about ‘white balsamic truffle dressing’ before refilling our drinks and departing again. “I know you’re philanthropic, so favorite charity?”  
“Whichever one needs me the most, I suppose. I enjoy working with Unicef, and I do have a soft spot for children and animals.” He tucks in to his salad. Christ, could this man be any more perfect? Sexy, funny, kind, intelligent, well-read, great driver, wonderful friend, and now a weakness for kids and pets. He’s an honest to god Disney prince! “What about you, Lilianna? Do you support any charities?”  
“Actually, I do. I’m a big literacy advocate at home. I love books, the adventure, escape, and imagination they provide. The world would be a better place if everyone read more.” His eyes betray a hint of pleasant surprise, and we continue our game through the entrees. When we finish, we head back to Jack for our phones, and leave Hatter’s.  
“Did you enjoy the meal, Ms. Forrester?” Thomas inquires as he helps me into the car. I wait for him to get in before raving about the food, which seems to please him. “Good, I’m glad. Now let’s go ride the Eye.” As we’re pulling into a parking space, I notice that there’s no crowd waiting. He said he got tickets, so they can’t be closed…it’s a beautiful night, so it’s not the weather…what’s going on here? Tom opens my door, ever a gentleman, then places a hand on the small of my back, the other holding me by the elbow. He guides me to the entrance, bypassing the ticket stiles completely. The Eye is all lit up, looking for all the world like a bigger, brighter moon. “Thomas, what’s going on?”  
“I made a few calls. Turns out the night manager’s son is a big fan. I traded some premiere tickets for uninterrupted time with you. I think he got ripped off.”  
“So, what, we have the whole ride to ourselves?”  
“Yes, we do. As far as anyone knows, it closed early for maintenance. Shall we, Lilianna?” I cannot believe this man! He went to all this trouble, just for me? He helps me climb into the cab, averting his eyes in a very gentlemanly way as I adjust my dress on the bench seat. He stands off to the side, providing a far better view than any ferris wheel could ever hope to.  
“Tom…I want you to tell me about Emma. I know something happened, what was it?”  
“Lily, I would, but it’s not my story to tell. She’s Ben’s mistake, not mine, so it’s his choice. Sorry.” After a few minutes of silence, Tom looks at me again. “Can I join you?” He walks over, sitting down next to me on the bench, and starts pointing out the sights. The ride slows to a stop at the top, and I’m breathless from the panoramic view. I reach over and grab his hand, smiling as his fingers entwine with mine. “Told you, I got the better deal”, Thomas smiles back at me, rubbing his thumb along my hand. “We can stay up here as long as we like, I’ll text the manager when you’re ready to go.”  
“Oh, Thomas, this is all so perfect. You, and that dinner, and now this. You’ll never know what this means to me. Thank you.” I sigh, and rest my head on his chest, breathing deeply. I’m trying to save this moment in my brain forever. This will be our only date, I’m sure, and I don’t want to forget a thing. After twenty minutes or so, he kisses the top of my head and pulls away. “Ready for dessert?” I nod, and he pulls out his phone. A minute later, the wheel hums to life again. We get off at the bottom, the manager giving Tom a knowing wink. “Tom! He thinks we had sex up there!!!”  
“Ehehehehe, maybe so. I have dessert coming to the house, I thought we could enjoy it in the garden, free from prying eyes. Shall we return home?” Once we get back on the road, I decide that during dessert, I’ll tell him about my past. Whether he’s truly interested in me, or simply being a good friend, he should know how screwed up I am. “Lilianna, are you in there? I asked if you would prefer bananas foster cheesecake or salted caramel apple crumble for dessert. I have to let the bakery know.”  
“Um, the crumble sounds fine.” We pull up in front of the house, and he opens my door. Throwing an arm around my shoulders, he casually walks to the door of the flat and unlocks it, helping me inside and shutting the door. He’s clearly oblivious to the paps, going crazy to get a shot. “Bakery should arrive in about 15 minutes. I’ll give you a chance to visit the ladies’. I’ll be on the terrace when you’re through.” He walks away, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he goes. I nod, heading to the first floor bathroom. I don’t feel like climbing three flights of stairs to my own. Once I’m safely inside, I look in the mirror, taking in my flushed face and the mile wide grin that can’t seem to vacate my face. This man is doing something to me, making me believe his flattery and his flirtation. I realize I can’t wait to get back to him, to see what else he has to say. I’ve been in here long enough. I make my way out to the terrace, stopping short when I hear Tom on the phone. It’s not eavesdropping if it’s accidental, right?  
“She’s driving me mad, Ben. Her smile, her smell, her body, her mind. I have to constantly stop myself from putting my hands all over her…I don’t know if she wants me to, I made a comment earlier and she shot me down…I know she’s been through some things…I want to know, Ben. I want to know her thoughts, her fears and dreams. I want to touch every inch of her…Yes, yes I know you warned me. I can’t help it. Did you know she loves to read? And her favourite color is green? That she makes these sweet little sighing noises when she’s content?...Very funny, mate. She’s obviously not as interested in me as I am in her…Of course I’m going to ask her out again, I’m desperate for her!....Alright, I’ll talk to you when you get up. Bye.”  
I’m a fool. I’m a blind, self-absorbed fool. But I can fix that. Before I can change my mind, I march out onto the terrace, stopping right in front of him. “Lily, how long have you…did you hear…oh dear, I think you did. Lily?” I grab his shirt, twisting it in my hands, forcing his face down closer to mine. His eyes widen as he grasps my intentions. He comes the rest of the way willingly, those gentle hands easing around my waist. I slide one hand to the nape of his neck, twirling a stray curl around my fingers. His eyes meet mine, searching. “Lily, are you sure?”  
“Shut up, Thomas.” I press my lips to his, igniting the spark that I fear might consume us both. It starts slowly, languidly, like swimming in deep water. He nips my bottom lip, using his tongue to open my mouth. Suddenly, this kiss is not so gentle. It becomes urgent, even aggressive. I press myself up against him, and I feel his responding growl all the way to my core. It feels so right, so perfect, the way we fit together. I want to keep kissing him forever. And then the doorbell rings.  
“Ugh. Perhaps you should get that, Lily. I fear the paps would have a field day with me right now. Do you mind?” I shake my head, reluctantly disentangling myself from his arms and heading for the door. I accept the pastry box from the woman, along with a container of custard, and a bag with plates and utensils. Walking back to the terrace, I’m surprised to see Tom sitting at a candlelit table, waiting. I set the pastries on it, but before I can return to my chair, he pulls me into his lap, kissing me again. Softly, sweetly he kisses, murmuring my name when we break apart for air.  
“Tom. The crumble. Do you want dessert?” He’s kissing his way across my jawline, nipping my ear. “I.” Moving down my neck, “AM.” Licking along my collar bone, “HAVING.” He captures my mouth with his, stopping my heart. “DESSERT.”  
“Thomas! I need to put this away if we’re not going to eat it. It’ll spoil.”  
“Who cares?” comes out of him with a moan, and I can’t help but laugh. “You do not know what you have unleashed, woman. I may never stop touching you.”  
“We have to talk, Tom. I have a past. It’s dark and twisty, and it’s hard, but it’s mine. And if you really want this, if you really want ME, there are some things you need to know.” He nods, letting me pull back from him. “Rich, my 2 ½ year relationship? He was abusive. Physically, he regularly hit me, or threw me around. I had three miscarriages in those 30 months, he didn’t believe in birth control. Emotionally, he was much worse. He told me so many times how ugly, dumb, fat, and useless I was. He often compared me to Max, always finding me wanting. Max did what she did to save me, not to hurt me. He was good enough at hurting all on his own. It took me 6 months to even be capable of looking in the mirror after he left. I believed him, every word, he preyed on my natural insecurities and made me the way I am. I’m sorry that I’m bruised and broken. I want to date you, to be with you, to someday, maybe fall in love with you. But I don’t know how.”  
“Oh, my dear heart. I am so sorry that poor excuse for a man ever entered your life.” Tom wraps his arms securely around my waist, making me look him in the eyes. “I wish with all I am to go back and meet you before he did. I wish I could have twenty minutes alone with him in a dark alley. I’m always here, if you need to talk, or cry, or what have you. But I do have to say, I want to be with you too. To fall in love with you, too. As for not knowing how, I’ll show you. It goes like this.”


	8. Chaotic

We stayed up half the night, talking and kissing. I finally went to bed somewhere around 3am, alone. While Thomas made it clear that he wanted badly to come to bed with me, I stood by my three date rule, although it took more willpower than I knew I had.

This morning, I can hear the rumble of masculine voices beneath me as I wash my face. Knowing that means that both of my boys are below, I quickly dress and brush my teeth. Tousling my wavy hair, I lock my door and head downstairs. I walk into the kitchen, greeted by complete silence, and know they've been talking about me. Probably wondering if I regret sharing my past, or kissing Tom. I regret nothing. To prove it, I saunter confidently over to glorious morning Thomas, all jogging sweat and disheveled hair, and kiss him good morning. It's a good kiss, too, all soft and warm, like snuggling in sweaters during December. He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him as I break the kiss. "Hello, darling. Morning Ben."

"Well, well, well...look what the cat dragged in." Ben's smirking, glancing from my face to Tom's. "You certainly look pleased with yourself, Miss Lily. I understand you had a date last night, did you have a nice time?"

"What are we doing today, gorgeous?" Tom is running his fingers up and down my arms, raising gooseflesh.

"I had a wonderful evening, Ben. I think this one may actually last. Thomas, I need groceries, household items, and other stuff. Want to go shopping?"

"Oh, so it's Thomas now, is it? Well, Thomas, you have an appointment with the realtor in an hour to go house hunting. So I'll take luscious Lily shopping. Maybe I'll be Benedict by the end of the day." Ben's jovial mood is infectious, and I find myself grinning back at him.

"Oh Lily, I'm sorry. I forgot I had that appointment today. Would you mind terribly going with Ben? While you're out, get a new outfit. Tonight, we're going dancing!" He shakes his hips against me, laughing as I arch into him. "Ben, take good care of my darling. I'll never forgive you if anything happens to her."

"Relax, Thomas. We'll be just fine, won't we pet? Go buy a house – that'll get you out of mine. But shower first, you look rough. Lily, 20 minutes, okay? We'll have to take my bike, so all your purchases will have to get delivered." I nod, and then return my attention to Tom as Ben leaves the room.

"Make sure he takes you to Harrods. And Selfridges. Make him drive slow on that infernal machine. Take my card, buy whatever you like. I have more money than I know what to do with anyway. Don't forget to...ohhh." During his list of instructions, I've been busying myself with his neck, and jawline, and ear. I had just slid a hand up his tee shirt, caressing his abdomen as I get better acquainted with his right ear, when he stopped jabbering. His grip on my hips tightens, eyes half closed as he gives in to my attentions. "Ohhhh Lily...we've got to stop. You've got to stop. Or I swear, not only will we not make it to your three date deadline, we won't even make it out of this room." Reluctantly, I pull away. "Thank you. So, dancing tonight, yes? Wear something naughty. I want to put my hands all over you." He winks as he gets up from the bar stool, kissing me long and hard before heading off to his shower. I'm just thinking about tossing the rules out the window and joining him in there when I hear Ben's voice.

"So, are you two done devouring each other? Either he's leaving or I am, pet. The sexual tension in this place might kill me." He's standing in the doorway, a helmet in his hand and another under his arm. "Can we go, please, before I throw up?"

"Ugh, Ben, what are you, five? Grow up already. Let's go to Harrods first, okay?"

******

About five hours later, we return to Ben's flat. I've gotten everything I need, and a killer outfit and shoes to go out tonight. Those I have with me as we pull up on the bike. I hop off, removing my helmet and handing it to Ben. "Thanks, Bennykins. I had a lot of fun with you. Now I need to go get ready."

"Wait, BENNYKINS? He gets Thomas, all adult sounding and manly, and I get Bennykins ? I am not a fluffy little lap dog, dammit, I'm a MAN!" His face is turning red, clearly he doesn't like his new nickname. Time for damage control. "Ben, Ben, whoa! I was trying it out! You don't like it, I'll find another. Chill out, stud."

He rolls his shoulders and looks at me. "Stud, huh? Now that I like. Much better." That silly half grin is back, my Ben is back. "Go get ready, peaches. You're going to knock his socks off. He's a lucky bloke, and I'd hate to have to choose between you, so please be sure he's what you want. He's a good man, Lily. Don't change that." With that said, Ben looks relieved and points me up the stairs. "Go, darling, or you'll be late."

I carry my packages upstairs, laying my new outfit on the bed. I chose sexy faux leather leggings, a gold corset top that really shows off my cleavage, champagne colored pumps, and a black statement necklace. I may not have the perfect body, but I do know how to play up the assets I do have. I'm definitely more "pin-up" than "prima ballerina", but I can rock that. After a quick shower, I apply a golden smoky eye and corral my hair into a bumped ponytail. As I'm pulling on my shoes, I hear Thomas at the bottom of my stairs, cursing. "Fuck it, fuck it all to hell. Bloody bastards!"

"Thomas? I'm in my room. Come tell me what's wrong." I hear him long before I see him, still cursing under his breath. "Hullo, love. Been house hunting, think I found one. Having some trouble with a director, though. He wants me to be in New Mexico in October, when we don't start filming until December. It's all just very cattywompus right now. Are you ready?" He's been pacing back and forth and looking at the floor, and he finally stops and looks up at me. I'm across the room, my hands on my hips. "Lily. Christ, Lily. I want...I'd better not say what I want, you might slap me. You look absolutely pornographic. You really know how to do naughty, don't you?" I smile, pleased with his reaction. "Let's go be naughty, Thomas."

We get in the Jag, apparently he knows some club that has a VIP area that's pretty private. I hope so. In the car, his hand is so far up my thigh that if he twitches those long fingers, we'll be doing a lot more than driving around. He keeps looking at me, at every stop sign and traffic light, like he's a starving man and I'm a steak. I smirk. Maybe I went a little too far with the naughty. He's pulled up next to a huge club, called Chaotic. We're ushered inside, Tom's hand never leaving the small of my back. Cameras are flashing as we're deposited into an elevator with a few security guards in tow. One of them pushes the PH button, typing in a key code when prompted. Tom is holding me right in front of him, gently grinding his hips and pelvis against my ass. God, I want him so badly. I'm about five seconds from slamming the stop button and having my way with him right here, in front of all these people. Luckily for me, the elevator stops just as I'm about to give in. The doors slide open, and it looks like any other club, with a DJ booth, large dance floor, bar, and seating areas. The security team guides us to one of the more secluded banquettes, a waitress standing by for our drink order. Tom asks for a bottle of Glenlivet and two tumblers with ice before taking my hand and leading me to the dance floor. I see a few recognizable faces, but mostly I'm focused on him. Being with Tom is like having tunnel vision, he's so bright he blocks out the sun. And good lord can the man dance! He exudes sex out on the floor, and I don't even bother trying to keep my hands off him. After 6 songs or so, we return to the seating area for our drinks, sipping enough to get pleasantly buzzed before returning to the crowd.

An hour later, on one of our drink breaks, I lean into Thomas for a kiss, whispering "bathroom" against his lips as I pull away. I head across the room, ignoring everything but the "LADIES" sign. I pop in and use the facilities, adjusting my hair and makeup and taking a deep breath on my way back out. Three steps down the darkened hallway, a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and spin me around. Thomas has a devilish glint in his eyes as he backs me up against the wall and starts kissing my neck. His hands travel downward and grab my ass, lifting me up and enabling me to wrap my legs around his waist. His mouth seeks mine, hungry and passionate, and I respond in kind. I pull free from his mouth and start kissing his neck, trailing my tongue along his Adam's apple. "Oh God. Lily. Lily. LILY. I want you so badly right now. I need you, Lily." He's groaning and pushing up against me, his restless hands traveling over every inch of my body. I can feel his desire growing – literally - and it feels like when we finally get there I won't be disappointed. I put my hands on his chest and lightly push him back. "Not here, Thomas. Not like this."

"You're right, my beauty, of course you're right. I just desire you so badly, I couldn't stop myself from having a little taste. Moving against you on that dance floor is intoxicating. Forgive me?" Those beautiful blue eyes are full of lust, and longing, and apology.

"All is forgiven, naughty boy. Now let's get back out there and dance."

After a few more hours, I signal the security that we're ready to go. We're both sweaty, and tired. The parade returns the pair of us to the car, and after one of the security guys makes Tom take the test to insure he is safe to drive, we're on our way. I'm itching to get out of this outfit and into some pajamas. Once we get home and inside, past the paps again, I head up to the second floor directly, intending to continue until I reach my sweats and my cozy bed. Tom is a few steps behind me, and snatches my wrist as I get to the landing. "Oh no, no, no, no. You're not going anywhere, pet. You're all mine now. No one to see, no one to stop us. Come here, Lilianna. Let me show you where we can go together, the depths of pleasure we can reach, without actually having sex." He's caressing my arms, my shoulders, the tops of my breasts. I'm breathing so heavily, I'm sure the neighbors can hear me. "Thomas, Tom, please. I am trying to be strong here, but you are making it so hard..."

"That's what HE said!!!! " I hear a deep cackle from the living room, and both of us belatedly realize that we've had an audience for our little scene. "Well, come on in, you horny teenagers. Let me see how mussed up you are." Tom heads to the living room, looking sheepish, and I follow. "Evening, Ben."

"Tommy. Lil. Sorry to interrupt, but your bodily fluids all over my hallway is not my idea of fun. Find a house yet?"

"Actually, Ben, I think I did. Nice place, not so many stairs, minus annoying interrupting roommates. Unfortunately, it's also missing a crazy hot American woman living on the top floor. I'm hopeful I can find one, though." Tom winks at me, his hand sliding across my shoulder blades. God, this man makes me insane. Every touch is lighting a fire underneath my skin, and I know he knows it. He walks over to the club chair and sits down, patting his lap.

"Oh good grief, you two. Tommy, when do you leave?" Ben's face is a mix of mirth and disgust. I've settled on Tom's lap, my legs draped over the arm of the chair. "He's never leaving, Ben. Even when he moves out, he'll be here all the time. In my living room, in my kitchen, in my bed. And when he's not here, I'll be there. Get used to it." I turn my head and kiss Tom thoroughly. "Now, I'm going to bed, boys. Goodnight Thomas." I kiss him again, levering myself up off his lap. I walk past Ben, blowing him a kiss: "Sleep tight, Studly." As I'm leaving the room, I hear Ben talking to Tom. "I'll give you one thing, Tommy. She's a real firecracker. If only I'd gotten to her first."

I hear Tom's jocular laugh. "You did, Ben. She just prefers me. Tough one, mate." I'm beaming as I go up to my little apartment. How did I get so lucky, to have one hot British actor practically begging to ravish me, and another for a best friend? To meet not one, but two genuinely good guys is a rare and fantastic thing. I change into a tank top and pajama shorts, removing the strapless bra that has been killing me all night. I lay across my bed and start scrolling through my phone, noticing a series of headlines about Tom and me.

"PLUS SIZE PR PRINCESS SNOGS HIDDLES: ROMANCE OR RUSE?"

"TOM'S CURVY CONQUEST: HIDDLES PREFERS 'EM THICK!"

"SORRY, FANGIRLS, HIDDLES IS ALL TANGLED UP IN BUXOM AMERICAN BOMBSHELL"

This is getting out of hand. The last one has a photo attached, of us in the hallway at the club, his hands gripping my ass and my mouth on his neck. I text him, shaken and humiliated.

LF: "Awake?"

TH: "Yes. Changed your mind?"

LF: "No, but can you come up?"

There's no immediate reply, so I figure he's busy. Maybe showering, or up to something with Ben. Not a minute later, there's a knock on my living room door, and forgetting my attire and current braless state, I rush to let him in. Standing in the hallway is 6'2'' of English deliciousness, clad only in a pair of basketball shorts that ride low on his hips. I pull him in, guiding him directly to my big comfy bed. "Um, Lily, I thought we were waiting. Not that I'm complaining, but..."

"Get in, Thomas." I hand him my phone, watching the anger build as he reads all the headlines. "I don't want to be alone tonight. I feel mortified, and exposed."

"I understand completely darling, no worries. As long as I'm around, you'll never have to sleep alone again." He places my phone face down on the end table and then pulls me closer, wrapping one long arm around me as he lays on his back. His giraffe legs are sprawled across three-quarters of the mattress. I rest my head on his chest, exhaling deeply and snuggling in.

"Goodnight, Thomas. Thanks for coming to my rescue."

"Goodnight, Lilianna. Relax now, I'm here." Soon his breathing slows, and as I nod off I decide tomorrow is time. We'll go for dinner, or something, and then come back here and spend the night together, in this bed. He's waited long enough. Hell, I've waited long enough. I drift off to sleep, safe in his arms, fully realizing that he wants me.


	9. All of Me

I wake up alone in the morning, confused. Then I find the note.

Lovely Lily,

Dreadfully sorry to leave, have three meetings this morning and a read through this afternoon. Should be home around 7. I've left my card on the counter, along with a menu for an excellent Thai place. Order something up for dinner, okay? Don't forget that your purchases are arriving today, as well as the stuff you had shipped from the States. Did you know you talk in your sleep? We'll revisit that later. If beauty was time, my love, you'd live forever. See you later,   
Thomas

I grin, wondering what on earth I might have confessed to while asleep, and pull on some yoga capris and a loose tee. Not even five minutes after I finish my cereal, the doorbell rings. I'm halfway down the stairs when Ben yells up "Lily! It's the shipping guys, I've sent them around back for the lift. Let me put some clothes on and I'll be up to help."

There's a lift?!?!? I've been climbing these stairs non-stop for three days, and now he tells me there's a lift? Where is it? I'm interrupted by a loud "ding" and see a paneled wall slide open opposite my door, on the landing. Well, that would have been useful information. I'm holding open the door and pointing to a corner where my desk will be set up when Ben comes into the room. I start hitting him, smacking his chest and arms. "THERE IS A LIFT?!?! Dammit, Ben."

"Hahahaha. You didn't know, did you? Oh you poor little darling. I thought Tommy showed you when he brought your luggage up. It stops on all three floors, and the garage at street level. The call buttons on the floors look like light switches. Lily, tell me, what is happening with you and Tommy? Is it Looovve ? Or just a bad case of lust?"

"Neither, Ben. Right now I'd say it's closer to infatuation." I pause to point the shipping guys to my bedroom, for the three large trunks full of my clothes. "I really, really like him, and I really, really want him. I'm simply trying to do this right. He's so funny, and so kind, and so fucking gorgeous. I want it to be right. I can't quite let myself believe that he wants me, and I think that's why I'm holding back."

"Well, stop it. He's enamored with you. God knows at breakfast this morning you're all he could talk about. After you came up here last night, too. Speaking of which, I know you didn't sleep alone last night, and I know you two didn't have sex. Tommy said you were very rattled by some nasty gossip articles. Want to talk about it?" Ben looks genuinely concerned, bless his little heart.

"Not really. I want to hear more about your fascinating breakfast conversation." The shipping guys have finished, and now my little loft is full of boxes and trunks. "Help me unpack?" Ben nods, escorting the workers out and handing them a generous tip. He comes back in and grabs a random box, labeled "LR".

"So you like him, and you want him, but you refuse to see that he feels the same way about you? Are you mad, Lily? All I heard was "Lily this" and "Lily that" for an hour this morning. It was enough to put me off my tea. I don't know what you've been through, or why you doubt yourself so much, but let me tell you something." He stops shelving my books and comes over to my little kitchen, where I'm unpacking dishes. "Lily, I've known you for over a month, and I think you're incredible. You're funny, and smart, and sweet. You're a fantastic friend. And, you've got a great rack." I punch him in the shoulder, and he rubs it as he smiles. "Why you can't see any of this, I don't know. But I can. And you can bet Tommy does too. I know he appreciates your, uh, considerable assets. If you trust nothing else, love, trust your friends. Well, not Max. But your real ones."

"You're a very smart man, Bumbling Thunderwatch. No one would ever know it to look at you." Now it's my turn for a punch in the arm. "Now go back to work, you sod."

*****

After about 2 ½ hours, we have the majority of my stuff where it belongs. I've fixed us both lunch in the main kitchen, and I'm waiting for Harrods to arrive with all my deliveries. "Lily..." Ben looks up from his emails. "There's one more thing I think we should talk about before Tommy gets back. I know you won't want to, but we really need to, okay?"

"Ben. You're scaring me. What's the matter?"

"I don't think you've talked about this yet, but Tommy wants to be in love. He thrives on love. That Shakespearean fool is desperately seeking his mate, his one true eternal love. He wants to marry, to have a family, and a happy life. If you don't think that's what you want, if you can't imagine yourself giving him that, end it now. Because if he falls in love with you, Lily Forrester, and you won't fulfill all of his dreams, his life will be miserable. And I'll make sure yours is, too."

"Point taken, Ben. It's far too early for me to be thinking about marriage, or babies, or happily ever after. But I can promise to be honest with him, always. Is that good enough for you?"

"For now. But if he starts talking about those things, with you or about you, I will have this chat with you again. And next time, I will have an actual answer. Understood?" He's trying to protect his best friend, and I get that, but I don't appreciate being put on the spot like this. The doorbell chimes, and I collect my packages.

"I'm going to put this stuff away and take a shower, Ben. I'll talk to you later." I take the stairs- I've gotten used to them now. After all the packages are taken care of, I grab my new towels and a change of clothes and run a bath. I add bubbles and ease in when the water is high enough, sighing in relief. I need some time to think. Maybe Ben is right, maybe I should shut this down now, before we're both on a runaway train to misery. But that's not what he said, is it? He said if I didn't want those things, sometime in the future. I would never admit it to either one of them, I can barely admit it to myself, but I do dream of those same things, I want the wedding, the babies, the happily ever after. I don't know if I want them with Thomas, not yet, but I do want them. Knowing that he does as well makes this easier somehow. I feel like Tom and I have something in common now, something important. I close my eyes and let myself imagine it. Him, in a perfectly tailored suit, and me in a stunning gown, holding hands and smiling as we exchange our vows. I'm lost in the fantasy, having added a sprawling country home and three beautiful children to the mix when my phone jolts me back to reality. "All of Me" by John Legend? I don't remember adding that to my library. I dry my hands off and check the caller ID – Thomas. I answer quickly. "Hello, my knight in shining armor. I've missed you."

"Do you like my ringtone? I programmed it this morning, before I left."

"I do, Thomas." I blush, glad he's not here to ask why. He starts humming the song, making me smile. "Are you at work?"

"No, darling. I'm in the car. Not my car, one with a driver. I'm on my way to the table read. It's about 3:30 now, so I should be home by 7, as planned. Did I hear you say you miss me?"

"I did, I mean I do. Miss you, that is. I'll be counting the hours until you return."

"Ah, Lily. I miss you too. What are you doing? Can we video chat for a moment? I'd like to see your beautiful face." I check to make sure all the naughty bits are covered by bubbles, and then tap 'accept'.

"Hullo, love. Are you...naked? In the tub? Now, that's just not fair. You're very lucky I don't have the time to come back home right now."

"Or maybe you're very unlucky. So can you tell me anything about what you're reading for today?"

"Not in the car, I can't. But if you are interested, I'll tell you what I can later. I have to go, my love. I'll call when I'm through. Enjoy your bath. Goodbye."

"Bye, Tom. Good luck at the read!" I relax back into my bath, unable to keep a grin off my face as I replay our chat. After shaving and washing my hair, I climb out of the tub. Blowing drying my hair and pulling the front up out of my face, I throw on a little makeup and a maxi dress. When I check my phone, it's only 5, so I call the Thai place Tom recommended and place an order for 7:30. Then I curl up on my couch with a book. It's a thriller I picked up at the airport, and it's really good. So good that I don't hear Tom come in at 6:45, or even notice him leaning in the doorway until almost 7.

"Thomas! Don't do that!" He comes over and sits down next to me, carefully taking the book out of my hands and replacing my bookmark. "Hello, love. I must say, I'm a little disappointed to find you wearing clothes. I worked very hard this afternoon to keep the visual of you covered in bubbles from consuming my brain." I lean in for a kiss, laughing. We get caught up in each other, and are still on the couch, although not as upright, when Ben comes up forty minutes later with the takeaway I ordered.

"Perhaps you two could come up for air long enough to collect your own deliveries, hm? I was trying to run through some lines with Martin. No thanks, I won't stay, we got our own dinner." He tosses our containers on my little table and leaves, looking quite pissed. Tom gets up and shuts the door, turning the lock and looking at me.

"We're not expecting anyone else, right?" I shake my head. "Good, I'm starving. Let's eat." He starts cracking open containers as I set out plates and silverware, as well as wine glasses and a bottle of white I had chilling in the fridge. It's all so domestic, it brings me back to my earlier daydreams. "Tell me that blissful look on your face is from me. I'd love to know I make you that happy." Tom is looking at me, a smile in his eyes.

"It is, honey, it is. The past three days have been incredible. I didn't know it was possible to connect with someone so quickly, so easily. Is this normal? Has it been like this for you before with, um, other women?" I'm already dreading his answer, the affirmative yes that will tell me I'm not special.

"Oh, Lily. No, sweetheart. It's never been like this for me either. I feel like I've known you forever, and yet every conversation, every kiss, is exciting and new. It's like I could be with you every day, forever, and be neither bored nor unsettled."

Oh no, are we talking about forever already? Ben was right. I need to stop this, now. "Thomas. Stop that right now. This is our third date, and while I feel the same connection, the same magnetic pull that you do, it's way too soon to be talking forever. That's a great way to scare me off." I'm not looking at him anymore, I've busied myself serving the food and pouring the wine.

"I'm sorry, Lilianna. Can you look at me, please? I'm sorry. If your flaw is your self-esteem, mine is love. I always push too hard, fall too fast, and chase everyone away. I'll try not to do it anymore. Please, Lily, don't give up. Don't panic. No more forever talk, I swear." There's a pleading look on his face, and I sigh with relief, seeing that he understands me, that he knows his own flaws. "Okay, Thomas, enough. Let's eat."

During a meal of excellent pad thai, he tells me as much about his new role as he can, calling the project "KSI". "I'll be filming for about six to eight weeks, starting in February. I'll be overseas most of that time, but we can video chat and I'll fly you out to come see me if you want. I know you'll be busy working on the show with GST and Ben by that point, hopefully we can find some weekends to be together. Just for sex, of course. No love, no forever."

"I never said anything about love, Tom. I said no forever FOR NOW. As for the sex, sounds like a plan to me. When can we start?" Now it's his turn to blush. I get up and collect our empty dishes, rinsing them off and putting them in the sink for later. Then I pick up my wineglass, and beckoning to Tom, I go back over to the couch. I turn on my sound system, playing my new favorite song, "All of Me". I set my glass on the table and start swaying in place, knowing that the opportunity to dance will jolt Tom out of his trance. Sure enough, not even thirty seconds later he's there, wrapping his long arms around me and taking the lead. We dance to "All of Me", and a few more songs, before I break away and sit down. I've realized how stupid my sex deadline was, it needs to happen organically, not on a schedule. "So, handsome, want to tell me what I was saying in my sleep last night? I'm dying of curiosity."

That megawatt smile is back. "You said my name. A LOT. And something about never leaving the bed again. Were you having naughty dreams about me, my dear?" I vaguely remember what he's referring to, my face burning with the memory. "Oh, you were, you little minx. Care to share?"

"Well, you did this..." I point to my neck and he leans in, nipping lightly around my collarbone. "So I did this..." I push him back so he's half laying on the couch and straddle him. "And then..." I whisper as I bite his lower lip. Tom speaks. "And then I said 'let's wait a while longer'. Don't look at me like that, pet. It's not that I don't want you, you know I do. I just want our first night together to be special, to be worthy. You know what? Let's go away for the weekend. Check off one of the places on your fridge list." He's referring to a long sheet of paper I have taped on my fridge door that lists all the places I want to go and things I want to see while I'm in London. Tom and Ben have been adding random things to it, stuff like "Real Football" and "Meet the Queen". Idiots. "We'll leave tomorrow morning and come back on Monday. Where do you want to go?"

Hmmm...three days with Tom, wherever I want. "How about Wales? Cardiff? Or Stratford-Upon-Avon?" His eyes ignite at the last suggestion, and I know we've found our destination.

"Oh Lily, let's go! We can see a show at the Royal Shakespeare Theater, visit Hathaway's gardens and Shakespeare's birthplace! We'll go to Compton Verney and Holy Trinity Church. It'll be amazing! Let me call The White Swan now to book our rooms – two rooms, right?"

I stare at him for a moment, his face like a child's on Christmas morning. "One, Tom. And why don't you call Luke and have him make all the reservations, keep it anonymous?"

"Good idea, darling. Let me just..." he turns to look at me, his face even more delighted than a moment ago. "...Did you say one?"


	10. Dessert First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a minor fight, and a road trip, and smut. Sexy, sexy smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up faithful readers- this is where the "Eventual Smut" kicks in. Gettin' downright steamy up in here. Also, I live for comments and kudos...please send me your thoughts!!!!

It's Thursday morning. Tom has made all the travel arrangements through Luke, even renting a Land Rover for us to take instead of the Jag. The Rover is in the garage now, the plan being to load it up and leave in it, duping the paps who are hovering out front near the Jag. Ben's aware of the plan, he's upstairs with me while Tom is in his room, finishing packing and talking to Luke.

"So, I tell you to back off, I tell you take it slow, and you decide to take a romantic holiday? I swear to God, if you come back with a ring on or knocked up I will ship you back to the States so fast..." Ben is glaring at me, clearly unhappy with this plan.

"Ben!! That's not going to happen. We're just trying to avoid the crowds and the fans, and do a little sightseeing. No rings, no babies. Perhaps if you loved someone other than yourself you'd understand. Don't think I don't know about you sneaking some little tart out this morning, you man whore." Tom had told me all about Ben's one night stands, sometimes they're only one hour stands. I arch an eyebrow as he looks away.

"I do love other people, Lily. I love my mum, and dad, and Tommy, and Martin, and you. I'm sure there are others, I just can't think of them right now. So what if I like casual sex? Not everyone is Tom 'I Love Relationships and Recite Sonnets for My Lady' Hiddleston."

"Oh, shut it, Ben. I love you too. Casual sex is fine, really. The nauseating couple that used to be your friends are going to be gone for four days – have all the casual sex you want. Just keep it out of my place, okay? And stop making this trip a bigger deal than it is. You're freaking me out." He really is, my mind is spinning trying to figure out what this trip means for me and Tom, what it means to Tom.

"Poor Lily. Her adoring boy toy wants to take her on a romantic holiday to Shakespeare-land. C'mere." He's holding open his arms, and I move in for a hug. Unfortunately, I don't see the folded newspaper in his hand. "I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!" he cackles as he smacks me with the paper. "If you're not in love with him now, you will be by Monday. Off you go, Luscious Lily. Kiss your singleness goodbye on your way out of town. No one can resist the full force of Sir Tom's charms, I've even seen grown men falter. I'll start calling you 'Missus H'. Your dreamboat awaits, Missus H. Happy trails." Tom comes in as Ben is leaving.

"Ready, Lilianna? Is this all you need?" He gestures to the suitcase by the door. "If you need more time to pack, I can wait. This can't be all your clothes for four days." I get up close to him, easing my hands underneath his tee shirt to trace my fingers along his strong, muscular frame.

"Well, to be honest, I'm hoping to be unclothed for at least half the trip. So yes, I've got enough. Need help getting it in?"

"Um, no, I can, uh, manage. We can take the lift straight down, if you would, er, lock up." I love talking dirty to him when he's not expecting it, he gets so flustered!  
We get to the car without any snags, and head off. As we're leaving London proper, my phone starts playing Ben's ringtone, "Sexy and I Know It".

"What, Ben?"

"Just calling to say goodbye to my single friend Lily. I think this might be the last time I ever talk to her."

"God, Ben, you're such a loser. Go find someone to hump and get off my ass. Goodbye."

Tom is looking at me, a half smile on his face. "What was Ben on about, love?"

"He seems to think we're going to take some kind of big step this weekend. He was calling to say goodbye to 'single' me. Ridiculous, huh?"

"Yeah...ridiculous." That adorable half smile is gone, replaced with what looks like pain. "Ridiculous to assume that sex means exclusivity, right? Ridiculous to figure 'hey, if we're taking a four day holiday AND sharing a room, this must be going somewhere'. You know what's ridiculous, Lily? ME. To ever assume you could commit to me, open up to me, love me. Maybe we should have gotten two rooms." Ouch. Less than twenty minutes into a two hour drive and I've managed to hurt him already. "You know what, Lily? Go into my jacket, the one on the back seat. You see that blue box, the pretty one? Open it. I was going to wait for a perfect time, a romantic time, to do this, but I might as well get shot down now. Want to be my girlfriend, Lil?" He laughs, but it's not the sweet, infectious laugh that I love to hear. It's bitter, and cold. It wounds me, as I'm sure it's meant to. I hold the box on my lap, nervously shifting it from hand to hand. "I said Open It." He's angry now. Is it weird that he's still unbearably sexy?

"Tom, I don't want to. I want you to do your romantic, perfect thing. I want to say yes that way. Not this way. Please, can I?"

He's pulled off the road, and is staring at me. "You want to what? What happened to ridiculous?"

"I meant Ben, sweetie. Ben is ridiculous. Not us. Not this. I'm sorry if I didn't say that right. I'm sorry I made you angry. Oh Tom, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? You're sorry? NO, Lily, I'm sorry. I'm a little on edge, I was a little on edge, worried about what you would say. I took everything you said all wrong. I do want you to open the box, though. Forget perfect, forget romantic. This is our moment, right here, right now." He takes the box from me, opening it facing him. Then he turns it around. "Will you be my girlfriend, Lilianna Grace Forrester? Please?"

"Of course I will, you giant hothead. Now let me see the pretty bauble you bought me." And oh boy, is it pretty. A silver bangle, with three charms hanging from it. A forest green gem, a silvery-blue one, and a miniature London Eye. I slip it on, holding my arm out and turning it back and forth.

"Do you really like it, darling? Truly?" He's smiling now, watching me admire the bracelet.

"Thomas William Hiddleston, get over here and kiss your girlfriend. NOW."

"Yes, ma'am." He leans across and kisses me, his hands framing my face. We separate, and he takes one of my hands in his as we get back on the road. The drive to Stratford-Upon-Avon is peaceful and fun, having gotten our drama out of the way in London. We talk about everything, and nothing. It's funny how someone who was a stranger to me four days ago could take up so much space in my mind, and in my heart.

After checking into The White Swan, Tom fills me in on our itinerary as I'm unpacking. "We're going to start at the beginning. Today, Shakespeare's birthplace. Tomorrow, Trinity Church and Hathaway's home and gardens. Saturday night we have tickets to the RST. Sunday we'll do some wandering. Does that sound alright, love?" Again, Tom and his meticulous planning save the day. I touch up my makeup, pull my hair out of my face, and we're good to go.

****

The whole time we're at the birthplace, Tom is like a kid in a candy store. He's honestly running from one plaque to the next, dragging me by the hand, pointing out tidbits of information he sees or reads, or already knows. When he's finally had his fill, I pop into the shop for an ornament to go on my tree. Tom shops as well, coming out twenty minutes after I do, arms full of bags. What on earth did he buy? We take a taxi back to the hotel, him jabbering the whole way about "the madness of genius" and how Shakespeare was "a mortal man that somehow understood and captured immortal love in all forms". This must be what fangirls look like to him, this obsession bordering on insanity. We drop our bags in the room, and decide to order room service for dinner. I jump in the shower, letting my mind wander while I'm getting cleaned up. I think about Tom, his childlike wonder at the birthplace, his sweet and sensitive attention to my needs, his incredible, good enough to eat body. I'm lost in my wanderings, thinking about our night together, until a voice breaks through. Tom's voice. Tom's 'I'm in a sexy mood ' voice, the one he uses to whisper in my ear or suggest something naughty.

"Lily...Lilianna...Lily..."

"Yes, honey?" I decide to pretend I don't notice the tone.

"Are you almost finished, or do I have to come in after you? The room service has arrived – did you really order a cheeseburger and fries? Love, c'mon out. I'll avert my eyes, I swear. Ehehehehe..." I turn off the water, and push my hair back from my face. Anticipating this night has consumed my entire brain. "Towel please."

He holds one up, and I can make out the back of his head, so I slide the frosted glass door open. Reaching for the towel, I see Tom has placed himself just far enough away that I have to take three or four steps away from the shower to get it. Thinking he's playing some cute little game, I take two steps towards him and freeze. Suddenly I'm out of the shower alcove, and surrounded by mirrors. All of my nakedness, all of my flaws, completely on display. I'm scrambling for the towel now. "Tom. Thomas. Give me that towel. This is uncomfortable, and embarrassing. Please."

"I'm averting my eyes, love. So I don't know where you are. Should I open them to find you, or do you want to come here and get it? I vote for option one."

"I'm coming to you, Tom. Keep your eyes closed." I snatch the towel from his hand, and wrap it around myself. It's a little short, only covering the tops of my thighs, but it's better than nothing. "Okay, Thomas. All the naughty bits are covered. You can look now. Thank you for helping me."

"Well, biscuit, where's the fun in that?" He turns around, face alight with mischief, and winks at me. Tom takes in the sight of me, beaded with water and wearing only a towel, and his breath catches. Suddenly, I don't feel embarrassed, or uncomfortable. I can see the desire in his eyes, and it makes me feel...sexy.

"Can you move so I can brush my hair?" He's blocking the vanity drawer where I put my brush and blow dryer. Tom takes a few steps to the side, the sidles up behind me as I'm brushing. He smiles into the mirror, then bends to kiss my shoulder blades, the nape of my neck, and my spine. Almost instantly, I break out into goosebumps, and he chuckles into my skin. "Dinner now, or dessert first?" He's slipping his fingers between my towel and my back, shifting it slightly. I turn around, throw caution to the wind, and drop my towel. "Dessert first."

His eyes widen with shock, then narrow with desire. "Are you sure, Lilianna? I won't touch you until you tell me you're sure, because once I start I won't be capable of stopping."

"Touch me, Thomas. Please." I can feel every nerve, every skin cell humming, begging for his hands, his lips, his tongue.

"God, you're beautiful." He murmurs, pulling me in for a kiss. This kiss is different, charged with want and urgency. I can feel the tingle building in my core as he pulls me tighter to him, melding my body to his. I reach out and grab the hem of his shirt, yanking and pushing until it's up to his arms, and start kissing and licking his chiseled chest as he pulls the shirt over his head. As I lean back up for another kiss, my nipples, already stiff with desire, graze his chest and he gasps, biting my lip. I'm pulling on his belt, desperately trying to get it undone. The feel of his bare skin against mine is electric, and I need more of it. "Lily, Lily, oh God, Lily. Let me help you." He stops trying to reason with me and simply picks me up, bridal style. Snatching one nipple in his mouth, he carries me to the bedroom. I arch my back as he rolls his tongue over the sensitive nub, causing him to stop halfway to the bed. "Easy now, pet. I don't want to drop you. We'll be on the bed soon enough." He starts walking again, entering the bedroom and shutting the door behind him with his foot. He gently places me on the bed, then turns and locks the door. "No more interruptions."

His pants, boxer briefs, and socks are quickly on the floor, and he joins me on the bed, running a hand from my neck to my calves. "Mmmmm Tom. Please, Tom."

"Oh, we're not rushing this, my dear. I intend to taste every glorious inch of you. I meant what I told you the other day – I plan to make you beg, darling." He kisses me, gathering both my wrists in one hand and stretching them over my head. "Now keep them there until I let you put them down." He orders as his mouth travels to my breasts. As he bites the tender flesh, I writhe beneath him, moaning. He kisses a trail down my stomach, and instinctively I move my hands to cover it. "Stop it, Lily. I see your insecurities, I see your attempts to hide. Your body, this gorgeous, perfect body that shames you so, enflames me. Put your hands back where I told you to, or I'll stop. You are stunning, and sexy, and I want to taste you." Hesitantly, I pull my hands back, revealing my stomach. "Better..."he growls, continuing his progress. Suddenly his head is between my thighs, and I can feel his breath on my sensitive skin. "Do you want this, Lily? Do you want me? Tell me, love. Tell me how bad you need me." I buck my hips, opening my legs wider and exposing myself fully to him.

"God, Thomas, please. I can't...please. I can't wait any longer." His tongue flicks out, and I can't control myself any longer. My hands fly to the top of his head, fingers tangling in his thick hair, urging him on. He's already got me on the brink, trembling and twitching, and he keeps teasing, coaxing me closer and closer to explosion. I'm gasping, needing him so much it's unbearable. "Thomas, Thomas, please. I need you inside me. Thomas, please....please!" He pulls his head up, slowly reversing the path he took to get down there. He kisses me, deeply, and I can feel his tip pushing against my center, lightly and slowly. But I've had enough of lightly and slowly. I want all of him, right now. I reach and grab his shaft, eliciting a moan, and guide him in, pushing my hips until our pelvic bones are touching. He's large, larger than I've ever had, reaching into parts of me that have never been touched. I grind against him, and instantly slow, calm Tom is gone.

Grabbing the wrought iron headboard, he thrusts, fast and deep. I feel myself reaching the peak, and I close my eyes and gasp his name. "No, Lily, no. Open those beautiful eyes and look at me while I fuck you. Look at me as you come. I want to see it. I want to come with you." I look up at him, locking onto his eyes, pupils blown and clouded with desire, and meeting him thrust for thrust. "Yes, my love, yes. Just like that." We reach a fever pitch, and suddenly I explode, screaming his name and writhing beneath him. He's right behind me, shuddering and gasping. He eases himself down next to me, lazily sliding a hand across my waist.

"Christ, Lily. That was...fantastic. But I think we may have to get back in the shower now." He raises an eyebrow, and I laugh.

"Again already, Thomas?"

"You bring out the animal in me, my darling. Let's go test out that tub."


End file.
